(3 min read)
Our brains are not lazy, but we can train them to almost shutdown. Like a child who is punished for every little thing its “too curious” about. We slowly lose energy to investigate opportunities, take risks, explore possibilities, question the status quo. One of the reasons for this, is the negative emotional association we have to a negative consequence. When we have time and feel safe to solve problems, we’re capable of providing the best ones, actually really great ones.
We tend to speak of emotional intelligence as an aspect largely linked to emotional maturity. So, if a leader raises his voice or uses obscene language, or retches up every bias they’ve ever had against a team member (especially in the presence of others), all in a play to get things done, the person on the receiving end may become rattled.
They appear confused, or frightened, and their level of maturity is questioned. Leaders and peers might say “We’re not here to make friends”, ‘You need to develop a tough skin in business”, all implying an expectation to accept the unacceptable as a badge earned to survive or belong. (We’ll link this to VALUES, another time).
Well, more than the involvement of emotion, is what happens in the brain of the average person – induced stress, which shuts down the part of the brain requiring time to process cognitively, and allow someone to respond mindfully.
What do you gain, and why do you scream and shout?
Because there’s never any time anymore. Despite years of creating goals and priorities, we’re still behaving ourselves into “too much to do, so little time”. We validate ourselves against this value and never check to see what we lose. Leaders of leaders would rather lose critical talent over authoritative talent, because we want quick evidence of results. How else will people say, it was this CEO who changed results, and hardly question why they don’t last after they’re gone.
What do we lose?
Whether in a family or in a business, people may provide an irrational reaction, they might complete an activity or task with speed but little effectiveness. A person may do something begrudgingly or in seconds drop everything they may have planned to do of equal or greater importance.
Human beings are more capable when they have time to think and freedom to test and fail and try again, or test and succeed and improve, when it feels safe.